Relational Longevity
A 3-Day Couples Retreat To Create an Extraordinary Partnership—For Life
September 2-5, 2026 | Chautauqua, Boulder, Colorado
Facilitated by Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder
Relational Longevity : A 3 Day Couples Retreat
September 2-5, 2026 | Chautauqua, Boulder, Colorado
Facilitated by Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder
You are the type of person who takes your health seriously. You’re health conscious. You get outside. You really do care about your health and wellness.
And you might know about the research: the single greatest predictor of how long you live — and how well — isn't your gym numbers, your nutrition plan, or your sleep score. It’s the quality of your closest relationships–more than any other measurable variable.
Most people file that fact away and do nothing about it. Their relationship runs on whatever energy is left after everything else.
This retreat is for people who are ready to treat their relationship like the health priority it actually is.
Relational Longevity is a three-day immersive experience for couples who are ready to bring the same intentionality to their partnership that they bring to the rest of their health. Not because their relationship is broken. Because they know it's the most important investment they can make — and they're ready to treat it that way.
If you care about your partnership, your relational longevity, and about your own and your partner’s healthspan and well being, then this couples retreat is for you.
During The Retreat You Will Gain...
A true understanding of how your relational attachment system works, and how to leverage it for stronger connection and enhanced well being
A larger capacity to effectively co-manage stress together, repair more completely, and feel more enjoyment and ease together
Relational capacities for more effective communication, connection, and collaboration
A clear and personalized relationship plan that clarifies your long term purpose, vision, and way of being as a couple–one that reflects your deepest values
The 4 Relational Longevity Pillars
In the retreat you will learn about the four foundational pillars of Relational Longevity:
1. Attachment. Understanding how your relational attachment system works, and how to leverage it for stronger connection and enhanced well being
2. Managing and Repairing Relational Stress. Attending to your nervous systems so that you can handle stress more effectively, repair more completely, and feel more enjoyment and ease together
3. Collaborative Communication. Develop your relational capacities through skills and tools for more effective communication, connection, and collaboration
4. Your Relational Code. crafting a structure that clarifies your long term purpose, vision, and way of being as a couple–one that reflects your deepest values
"If one is not prepared to truly engage in dialogue over the long haul, then one is not prepared for long-term intimacy."
— James Hollis
The Power Of Community
Many couples struggle in isolation, read books alone, do couples therapy alone, and don’t ever share the reality of their relationship with anyone else. Despite many couples grappling with similar issues, the shared humanity of long term partnership is often kept in private.
It is irreplaceable to be in community with other couples doing this work alongsid e each other.
You'll witness other couples navigate real moments in real time—and see yourselves in them. You'll feel less alone in your challenges. You'll be inspired by what's possible. Your learning will be exponentially greater in the group. You'll build friendships with couples who share your values and your ambition.
Over and over, couples tell us the group experience is the thing they didn't know they needed. The community is the magic.
Three Days Of
Unplugged Connection & Relaxation
September 2-5, 2026 Chautauqua, Boulder, Colorado—at the foot of the Flatirons, surrounded by hiking trails and mountain air.
Three days of morning and afternoon sessions. Evenings free to relax on your own or enjoy time taking space or dropping in with other couples.
A small, intimate cohort of 12 couples maximum.
Deep experiential work. Couples coaching in real time. Learning what research and experience shows us builds long-term partnership. Exercises that create connection you can feel immediately.
Time in nature. Meals together. The kind of setting that helps you slow down, get present, and remember what actually matters.
Where you will be staying
One Bedroom Cottages and Studios
The Chautauqua Studio Cottages
Nestled at the very base of Boulder’s iconic Flatirons, the Colorado Chautauqua is a National Historic Landmark that offers a rare blend of wild nature and historic charm.
For this retreat, you’ll be staying in your own private one bedroom or studio cottage: individual, historic dwellings, each with its own unique character, recently updated, and vintage touches.
Your private sanctuary includes
Approximately 300 square feet featuring a Queen bed, high-quality linens, and a comfortable sitting area, and a fully equipped kitchen.
Front-Door Trail Access: You are literally steps away from over 40 miles of hiking trails. You can walk out your front door and be on a mountain path within minutes.
The Chautauqua Experience
To help you truly unplug and reconnect with each other, the cottages intentionally feature no televisions or phones. Instead, you’ll have high-speed Wi-Fi (if you need it), stunning views of the rock formations, and the peaceful atmosphere of a "mini-town" that has served as a place of rejuvenation and enlightenment for over 125 years.
The Group Space
Our Group Space
Our sessions will held in the Grand Ballroom. This space was designed specifically for gathering, learning, and connection. A coveted space in Boulder for gatherings, weddings, and conferences.
Who's Guiding You
Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC is a licensed psychotherapist of over 23 years.
She is the founder of Relational Longevity: a longevity oriented approach to co-creating long term partnerships.
She is also a Certified Level 3 PACT practitioner specializing in couples. Ellen is heavily steeped in attachment science, interpersonal neurobiology, evolutionary sociobiology, experiential therapies, and an ongoing student of research in what supports longevity in our most important relationships.
Jayson Gaddis helps world-class entrepreneurial husbands and fathers master connection, partnership, and co-leadership at home.
In 2016, he founded The Relationship School and over 100,000 people have gone through his online programs. His book Getting to Zero became a Wall Street Journal bestseller and won Amazon’s Best Leadership & Business Book of the Year in 2021. Since 2018, he’s run a 7-figure company focused on transforming the way people do their most important relationships.
Together they bring over 60 years of combined experience working with couples, individuals, and families. They've trained hundreds of therapists and coaches worldwide. More importantly, they live what they teach. Married since 2007, raising two teenagers, running businesses together, navigating similar pressures that you face—and doing it while continually being committed to co-creating an inspiring and supportive partnership over time.
They don't teach from theory. They teach from their lived experience as partners, parents, therapists, and coaches, guiding couples through their hardest moments and supporting them to grow and develop along the way.
Is This For You ?
This Retreat Is For You If:
- You're committed to each other and want to build something extraordinary for the long haul
- You're growth-minded and excited about learning together as a couple
- You want to be around other entrepreneurial couples who value partnership as much as you do
- You're ready to be present, vulnerable, and genuinely invest in each other for three days
- You want tools, skills, and a shared foundation that will serve you for decades
- You're the kind of couple who invests in what matters most to you.
This Retreat Is Not For You If:
- Either partner is unwilling or unable to show up fully
- You're in active crisis or need specialized clinical intervention
- You're looking for a vacation with light relationship talk
- You're not ready to do real work together
September 2-5, 2026 | Boulder, Colorado
Limited to 12 couples. This is intentionally intimate.
If you're ready to build the partnership you both know is possible, apply below. We'll schedule a brief call to make sure this is the right fit and answer any questions.
Note: This is a transformational experience, not a crisis intervention. If you're ready to do deep work on your partnership, we'd be honored to guide you.
What Couples Say
★★★★★
"Going through the couples group sessions with Jayson and Ellen’s coaching, has been a game-changer for our relationship. We learned how to communicate better, felt supported by others with shared experiences, and left every session feeling more connected and committed to our “we”. Ellen and Jayson (themselves a couple) were particularly helpful because they shared from their own real-life experiences as well. We would highly recommend this to anyone looking to grow together and take their relationship to the next level."
- Kristi and Dave
★★★★★
"This was such a positive experience for us. It created space for us on a regular basis to look into each other's eyes and be honest with one another. In a marriage of 40 years it's so easy to be complacent. This group gave us tools, techniques, and time to remove the boring and mundane to be real with each other. It gave us deeper clarity in our relationship and helped us grow both personally and together. We're grateful for the connection and insight it brought to our partnership!"
- Dan and Teri
As a teaching duo and real-life couple, Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder offer something rare and essential in the world of couple development: relational leadership that is grounded, courageous, and deeply lived. Their retreats and workshops don’t just provide tools—they offer a living, breathing example of what it means to do the work of secure-functioning partnership. What sets them apart is that they walk the talk. If you're looking for a couple who can skillfully guide you through the complexity of intimate partnership—whether you’re working through a breakdown, longing for deeper connection, or seeking tools to strengthen what’s already good—we wholeheartedly recommend learning from Jayson and Ellen. Their work is a gift to any couple ready to grow up, show up, and love well.
Stan & Tracy Tatkin,
Founders of the PACT Institute.
Your Path to Mastery:
Information-Packed Video Lessons. Comprehensive and Easy to Understand.
Module 1: Big Picture and Purpose of PCRC
- The Purpose of Relationship Coaching
- The 3-Part Coaching Framework
- Big Picture PCRC Coaching Model
- PCRC Training Manual
- How to be Successful in this Course
- PCRC Manifesto
- How to be a Client
- Don’t Be Attached to the Outcome with your Clients
- Present Centered Relationship Coaching Manual
Module 2: Principles, Goals, Confidentiality, Ethics
- Client Goal
- Coaching Principles: Life is Trustworthy
- Coaching Principles: Love
- Coaching Principles: Relationship as a Path
- Coaching Principles: Relational Leadership
- Coaching Principles: Security & Client Growth
- Coaching Principles: Law of the Farm, Trust, Direct Experience
- Coaching Principles: Behavior, Relationship Stages, Here and Now
- Setting the Coaching Container and Holding Space
- Coach Confidentiality
- Code of Ethics- document
- BONUS: The Primary Intention I Should Hold as a Coach
Module 3: The Six Client Outcomes and Six Coach Practices
- Administrative
- Presence
- Attunement
- Support
- Challenge
- Develop their Story
- Entanglement
- Insight
- Personal Responsibility
- Be With
- Empathy
- Integration & Lessons
- Action & Accountability
- Equity Call 1
- BONUS: 3 Things that Faciliate Change- Carl Rogers
Module 4: Your First Session and “Be With” Skills
- Your First Session
- Building Rapport
- Jayson Modeling How To Build Rapport
- Populations We Are Not Qualified To Serve
- Coaching When a Client’s Child is in the Room
- LIghting and Posture Over Zoom
- Ray’s First Session
- Personal Responsibility
- Melissa’s First Session
- Equity Call 2
- BONUS: Jayson’s Client Resourcing Demonstration
- BONUS: Jayson Demonstrating Guiding a Visualization Helping A Client Get Resourced - Visualization
- BONUS: Jayson Modeling a First Session - Leah
- BONUS: Jayson Modeling a First Session - Warren
- BONUS: Jayson Reviewing His Coaching Session with John
- BONUS: Helping A Client “Be With” His Fear
Module 5: Transmission, Motivational Interviewing & Values
- The Purpose of Relationship Coaching
- The 3-Part Coaching Framework
- Big Picture PCRC Coaching Model
- PCRC Training Manual
- How to be Successful in this Course
- PCRC Manifesto
- How to be a Client
- Don’t Be Attached to the Outcome with your Clients
- Present Centered Relationship Coaching Manual
Module 6: Personal Responsibility & Deflection
- Helping a Client to Own Their Part
- How to Get a Client to Talk about Self
- Working with Deflection in your Clients
- How to Connect to Self, Before, During & After Sessions
- BONUS: Challenging a Dad who Has a lot of Fantasies about Partnership
Module 7: Coach Entanglement & Your Agenda
- Using Coach Entanglement
- How Coach Entanglement Helps as a Coach
- Owning and Letting Go of Your Agenda
- How To Regulate a Client
- What To Do When a Coach is Talking Too Much
- BONUS: Transparent Coaching Approach with Cheating Issue
Module 8: More Support Than Challenge, Resistant Clients, Boundaries with Sexual Abuse
- Client Wanting More Support Than Challenge
- Working With a ‘Resistant’ Client
- When A Client Discloses Sexual Abuse
- BONUS: Coaching About a Possible Separation and Self-Connection
Module 9: Transmission and The Here and Now
- Why Does Transmission Involve Here and Now?
- 4 Types of Here and Now Experiments
- Experiments in Coaching
- Here and Now with a Client
- BONUS: What To Do With a Power Struggle With A Client in Here and Now
Module 10: Getting Their World, First
- Seen Before Solutions- Trying to Understand What It’s Like to Be Them
- How To Tell If You Are Misattuned To A Client and What To Do About It
- What Your Job Is As A Relationship Coach And What Coaching Is All About
- Slaying Dragons Instead of Sidestepping Lizards & Mastering The Fundamentals
- Jayson Demonstrating Roleplay: Sharing Impact
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Client Around Feeling Lost with His Compass and Purpose
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Student- Trigger with Girlfriend
Module 11: How To Challenge And Deepen A Client’s Decision
- How To Challenge and Deepen Someone’s Decision
- When Your Client Says “I don’t want to upset the other person”
- Holding A Boundary
- Jayson Coaching Christen: Distrust and Deception in a Partnership
- BONUS: Identifying Self-Betrayal, Commitment Issues, & Being a People Pleaser
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Student- Setting Boundaries with Daughter
Module 12: Eye Contact, Feelings, Blankness, Pacing
- Being With - Grief, Feeling, and the Importance of Eye Contact
- Coach Going “Blank” In a Session
- Pacing in Coaching
- What To Do When A Client Asks For Advice
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Ciara
- Memory Tracing 180 Exercise
- Transitioning a Client to a 180
- 180 with Jill – Conflict Avoidant Pattern
- Language Matters- Qualifiers
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Client Using 180 About Single Incident From the Past
Module 13: Reframing The Past
- Memory Tracing 180 Exercise
- Transitioning a Client to a 180
- 180 with Jill – Conflict Avoidant Pattern
- Language Matters- Qualifiers
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Client Using 180 About Single Incident From the Past
Module 14: Emotions And The 180
- Emotions And Coaching
- When A Client Is Emotional And Shuts Down
- Client Feeling Demo - Jayson & Arif
- When to support and NOT challenge (Trauma)
- BONUS: 180 With Abby – Self-Judgment And Self-Worth
- BONUS: 180 With Shannon – Not Feeling Chosen
Module 15: Ending Coaching
- Meeting A Client Where They Are
- Confronting People's Fantasies About Relationships
- Ending Your Coaching And Final Session
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Client: Helping Client Get In Touch With His Heart And Chose His Self-Protection
Module 16: Self Acceptance, Self Worth, Integrating Power
- When A Client Is In Heavy Dysregulated Emotion
- Self Acceptance vs Self Mastery
- Helping Client Integrate Their New Found Heart And Power Connection To Self
- Don't Let Your Clients Off The Hook
- Self-Sabotaging Your Coaching Practice at the End of the Course
- DBONUS: Difficult Conversations, Ownership And Clarity [00:25:05]
- NUS: Jayson Coaching Client On Self Worth Using 180
- BONUS: Fun Experiments around your Clients Messiness and Imperfections
- BONUS: Jayson Coaching Student on Standing up to Her Mother
Module 17: Conflict & Sexual Attraction With Clients
- Opportunities To “Teach” In A Session
- When “Nothing Is Happening” During A Session
- Conflict With A Client
- When A Client Is Attracted To The Coach
- BONUS: Jayson Helping a Client Repair & Address Deeper Issue
Module 18: Attract Coaching Clients Using Relationship Marketing with Sharla Jacobs of Thrive Academy
Notes for Trauma informed module:
Trauma informed module should go after mod 3. These are the videos that discuss helping a client move from dysregulation to embodiment, including dissociation.
- Code of Ethics
- Helping a client get resourced - body
- Helping a Client Get Resourced - Visualization
- Transmission 2: Regulating Them When They are Dysregulated
- How to Connect to Self Before, During, and After Sessions
- How to Regulate a Client
- When to Support and Not Challenge (Trauma)
- When a Client is in Heavy Dysregulated Emotion (Shannon Coaching Stacey)
- Understanding Trauma: When to Refer Out with Ariel Schwartz
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